He has a good job, loves his wife and children and is an usher at his local church. He heads off to work and picks up a cup of coffee on the way. He arrives at work, goes to his office, and sits down at his desk. As he takes a sip of his coffee, and notices the cute new co-worker walk past.Click to Read More…
An affair doesn’t start like like fireworks…it begins stealthily so that one never sees it coming. An affair is something that builds on itself…like a self mutating computer virus.
Most of my patients tell me that they didn’t plan for this to happen, and most are truly sorry. The damage is done and it’s not reversible…but a marriage can recover.
So how can this be a chemical addiction you ask? Lets look at a few facts and see what we can find.
How the addiction begins
Dr W H Penewit does research on specific addictions and how they affect the brain. He found that when an individual looks at pornography with their eyes it creates a chemical that as a result is 100 times MORE addictive than crack cocaine.
The chemical addiction similar to the addictive chemical of pornography happens in the brain of those in an affair.
Jesus himself taught about this addiction in one of his teachings to his disciples (and us too)
Matthew 5:27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’;
28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
It’s even more interesting to read what he says in verse 29
29 If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.
Jesus knew that “the eye gate” can be trouble…and what we allow into our minds/hearts can be equally addictive.
Considering an affair isn’t usually on peoples minds starting out.
They are enjoying the attention that they are getting from that good looking co-worker that they don’t get from their spouse.
This is the point where the danger begins but can be stopped if its acted on by both husband and wife immediately!
Fridays post will finish this 2 part series on this topic
Contact us…we begin the healing here
Task Force: Doctors should screen all adults for depression
Task Force: Doctors should screen all adults for depression a task force says. This is an article headline from USA today’s news website  It seems like “they” are just catching up with what most Americans already know…DEPRESSION IS PANDEMIC in the United States. So when I read the article “Task Force: Doctors should screen all adults for depression” To us this is somewhat of a relief to hear. We’ve been seeing rising depression for the last 10 years and it’s getting worse. Depression can come from more than one area, so it may not be coming from where you think. Depression comes about due to stress in one’s life. Lets look at a few areas that stress can start in our lives.
Areas that we can change:
- The daily grind (and I’m not talking about coffee here) of family, raising children, jobs, relationships that we can’t avoid (boss, family etc…), simply “being out in public” (a MAJOR source of stress for some)
- The Job…co-workers, performance stress, commute time etc…
- Job that isn’t a “good fit”
- Marriage/Communication problems
- “Surface relationship” (friends) problems
All of these things cause stress…and the feeling of “hopelessness” that causes us to think that we can’t change these things leads to depression.
Dealing with the thoughts that accompany these things is the key to stress/depression. Simply put…not everyone thinks the same way or “processes” life situations the same way. Learning how one thinks is the key to peace within one’s soul, and there’s not much of a ‘learning curve” here either, it’s a Bible based “easy learn” that will stay with you permanently.
We are Dr W H and Rev Linda Penewit and we are professional “Word of Faith” based mental health therapists, and what we offer simply put is…A way out of depression once-and-for-all.
More people are “sexting”
More people are “sexting” in a committed relationship In a survey of 826 adults between the ages of 18 and 80, 84 percent of respondents reported that they’ve engaged in sexting — while 82 percent said they had sexted in the past year.
Nearly 79 percent of people reported sexting within the bounds of a committed relationship.
If we look at the anatomy of an affair, we see that actual sex between two people isn’t where the damage is done.
The damage is done when one thinks (meditates) about having an affair with someone even before the two people meet for the first time.
Dreaming about an affair is an addictive mix
Because more people are “sexting” Thinking and planning an affair in ones own mind creates a physically addictive chemical that“locks in” the desire for the affair to begin.
So meeting and having sex between two people is the product of the affair NOT the reason for it.
So dreaming about having sex with that co-worker or old friend is where the damage is done, even if you never contact them.
So what am I hurting? it’s a “harmless” fantasy
The harm comes in when your mate can’t “measure up” to the fantasy lover that you are meditating over. So your sex life with your mate will suffer…and it just gets worse. Soon you will lose interest in your mate sexually.
It really has nothing to do with your mate, it’s that they must compete with a person that does not exist.
Your fantasy lover:
- Is always there for you emotionally no matter what you may be going through.
- Will always excite you sexually “just the way you want it”
- Will never make you angry or frustrated.
We have helped countless couples through this pain, and one thing that we know for certain…
When you do finally connect sexually with your “fantasy lover” the devastation comes in when you realize that they only wanted sexual release and your feelings and emotions had nothing to do with their decision.
If this describes you…there is a way out! Contact us…we can show you the way out.
Does pornography exist in Christian ministry?
Ministers, the human equation
Does pornography exist in Christian ministry? We all know that pastors wear many hats…they do many things, and I’m sure that you realize that being a pastor is one of the toughest things that a person can do.
But did you know that ministers are human? Most of you would say “I know that Dr Penewit”, yet most of us would understand if a man or woman were to become involved in pornography.
Being a Christian we would say “GET THAT PERSON SOME HELP!” and encourage the wife or husband to be understanding and forgive.
Pornography is “self medication”
Pornography is a deadly drug…yes pornography is a drug! When we view pornography with our eyes it creates an addictive chemical that is up to 100% more addictive than crack cocaine. The stress of ministry and the expectations cause many ministers to seek something that will soothe the emotional pain.
I’m not making excuses here, but the facts are in…most of the population of the planet Earth seek self medication of some form.
Ministers live in a different world
A Christian minister is many things…a shepherd, a healer, a leader and a friend. The minister is expected to live a perfect life. But when a pastor falls into sexual sin where to they go?
Nearly very pastor that I’ve talked to say that they would NOT go to their church board or denomination for fear of loosing their pulpit. Most likely they seek healing alone which doesn’t work…it simply gives the spirit of pornography to root deeper into their lives.
When a minister who has fallen into sexual sin is found out, they are usually removed from the pulpit and asked to leave. Healing then becomes even more difficult.
Knowing why one indulges in pornography isn’t enough…pastors need to know that there is a confidential place that they can go to seek healing. At Fort Worth Christian Counseling a minister can find out WHY they turned to pornography to begin with.
The road isn’t an easy one…but it all starts here
Comments? We’d like to hear!