Five simple things that can ruin your marriage

My wife and I have been Word of Faith based mental health therapists, so we really have seen almost everything. We have seen friends who had healthy strong relationships who had every intention of keeping their intimacy strong, only to see them fall apart.

Five simple things that can ruin your marriage

Kill a marriage? I don’t think that there are any cut and dried ways to accomplish this, but in my years of experience I have seen certain things that lead to the death of a marriage. Here are the top five

1 Opposite-sex friendships. Always represent your mate and marriage in a positive light no matter what. Seek someone to talk to …a trusted older friend at church, therapist etc. We know the danger of getting into a physical/sexual relationship with someone else, but we often forget that it’s just as dangerous for us to begin an emotional/intimate relationship with someone of the opposite sex. We all know how this begins…a friend at work asks a question or seeks advice from you that isn’t work related. They treat you to coffee or lunch and starts to pay you compliments which can eventually lead to meetings behind closed doors. These meetings cause emotional intimacy and over time these relationships can become physically addictive making it difficult to stop. It doesn’t take too long for this relationship to become something more.

2. Patience is the key to defeat a critical spirit. A critical spirit comes when an individual isn’t sure about themselves. They become quick to defend their point of view because they are hurting and fear rejection. Their constant criticism reaffirms our shame because they know us better than anyone else. Criticism will only cause your mate to distance themselves from you.

 

3. Fear is the motivating factor for Hypersensitivity. If you pat someone on the back that has a bad sunburn…they are going to react because of the pain that they are feeling.  Hypersensitivity is the sign of low self-esteem, the fear of rejection and fear of failure. These are just a few of the reasons why hypersensitive people reach to criticism so quickly. Fear is a spirit and death always follows close behind.

4. Unrestrained in-laws.  Unrestrained in-laws are the number one complaints of newly weds that we deal with. Unrestrained in-laws usually drive young newly-weds from the city that they were born in. I have met a few people who have had a solid family life growing up…but only a few! Most people that come to our office come from dysfunctional families of some sort. Allowing in-laws to move unrestrained within a marriage will allow them to quickly turn their dysfunction on your mate. You’ve got to listen when you mate tells your family has weird dynamics and QUICKLY set boundaries.

5. Hiding  your marriage problems. Married couples think they can fix their marriage over time, but by the time they realize how incapable they are at untangling all the knots of dysfunction, it’s usually too late. The sad fact is that we see marriages die because people don’t seek us out for help. We can help you untangle the knots that are killing your marriage. We Can Help

These are the Five simple things that can ruin your marriage, but there are many ways that we can use to strengthen our marriage. We will see changes if we intentionally work toward building friendships with your mate and seek to share their interests. We must keep strong boundaries with opposite-sex individuals and contacting us as soon as possible.