The Biblical laws of marriage are laid out as a roadmap, not only to joy, but also success. Everything God creates and has His hand in succeeds. Two become one flesh. Two human beings with human thoughts and human emotions join together in a concerted effort that is a cooperation of faith and grace when we allow the Lord to light the way.
We join our hearts, our families, and our homes. In doing so we learn about our partner on an entirely deeper level that can create conflict, frustration, and hurt at times. Those are the hard places. Did you know that you can find God already in those hard places? We can always lay our head on His promises, and there are ways to fight through these hard places rather than against each other.
Change the way you communicate.
Did you know that one negative thought or word does more damage than one positive can overcome or heal? For every one negative it takes five positives.
Be determined to never let doubt or unbelief seep into the fabric of your marriage. Many times all our partners really need is to know that they matter, that they are important. “I’m grateful for you” or “I still choose you” will go a long way when our partner is feeling unloved, unheard, or unseen.
Honor each other. Build a culture of appreciation. When one or both person’s sense of self is negative, issues take root.
Create a safe space for open dialogue and vulnerability. Vulnerability that is abused can breed worthlessness and feelings of rejection in the person that gave it.
Change the way you fight.
Did you know that God-centered marriage creates a climate of affection, empathy, fun, humor, and intimacy?
Intimacy (the state of closeness and love)/emotional connection will keep your sense of humor intact even when you disagree.
Tit for tat (meeting a complaint with a complaint) serves no purpose in a marriage. A partner that is coming to you with a complaint is working through their feelings, and this can open up a topic that can be resolved (not to be confused with an accusation).
Emotional withdrawal as a defense mechanism will lead to deadlock. Intimacy should remain the basis for resolving conflict. People who become emotionally disengaged will not compromise, nor are they willing to collaborate.
Change your view of the true enemy in a marriage.
Did you know that operating in an unforgiving heart will paralyze your emotional healing and your prayer life? Forgiveness does not justify another’s behavior. You may have to forgive by faith every day and multiple times a day; it is the gift to yourself to be free.
Don’t go to bed angry. Not only will your rest suffer, but the enemy will take that opportunity to slander your partner to you. He will hold your thoughts and feelings hostage. Anger sometimes feels easier, but it is destructive if it is not righteous anger (the Bible says it is ok to be angry but do not sin). Destructive anger leads to tyranny of self and anyone else in its path.
Our commitment and our time are precious and should be protected in marriage. The devil will try to steal this from you under the guise of “we have grown apart”. Healthy relationships will grow and cultivate a deep bond that cannot be broken by outside forces.
Prayer builds a bridge between you and the Lord. Prayer is your greatest weapon in marriage. The enemy is a master storm creator, but God is the Master of calming the storm. The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds (2 Corinthians 10:4). Faith, to be effective, must be spoken. The Word will always accomplish what God set forth for it to do.
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