The Collective “WE”, How to deal with disagreements

The Collective “WE”, How to deal with disagreements

The Collective "WE", How to deal with disagreements

The Collective “WE”, How to deal with disagreements One thing is for sure…we all will disagree with our mates in our marriages. Some may not disagree too much…and if you’ve learned anything about “The Blessing”(1) then you have learned how to accomplish what I’m going to show you today.

Keep reading to get your FREE template that will help you AGREE with each other when you disagree!

First off we need to understand that a disagreement (argument, fight) ALWAYS involves 2 people, and will ALWAYS AFFECT two people, and there is no way around this. If you disagree with your mate then not only is “The Blessing” on the line but your intimacy as a couple is on the line too.

Linda and I have learned over our years in practice that “WE” is one of the most important tools that a couple can possess…(the others being salvation, a Bible(2) and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ).

The Collective “WE” is a couple that decides to deal with disagreements in a collective way.

Simply put…a couple will sit down and will pray and ask God for a plan that will satisfy both husband and wife without making the other feel like they are being “short changed”.

You may think that you are right, and maybe you are but this will always make your mate feel like they are the ‘bad guy”. If this “feeling” continues, the results can destroy a marriage.

So let’s look at a tool that you can have for free that will change the way you look at arguments.

 

The Collective “WE”, How to deal with disagreements template

The Criteria (the rules of engagement)

1 Corinthians 13:

 

(I’ve numbered these to use in the “template”)

1-Love never gives up.

If you don’t come to an agreement don’t give up! keep going!
2-Love cares more for others than for self.

You care for them, they care for you. It’s a great arrangement

3-Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
4-Love doesn’t strut,
5-Doesn’t have a swelled head,
6-Doesn’t force itself on others,
7-Isn’t always “me first,”

‘Me first leaves everyone else behind..so there cannot be a “collective WE”

8-Doesn’t fly off the handle,

Simply refuse to blow up! This takes practice
9-Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

Put offenses where they belong…at the foot of the cross and then FORGET IT!

10-Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
11-Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

ONLY rejoice when you both agree NOT just when you are right

12-Puts up with anything,

Remember, they are putting up with you
13-Trusts God always,

Don’t give up but trust him
14-Always looks for the best,

It IS there…it may take time but once you’ve found it, it’s priceless and will be a key to answering your request

15-Never looks back,
16-But keeps going to the end.

Putting it into practice

Use this “template”

“WE” (Put your Temperament down after your name) ___________________________ and _________________________________are coming into agreement (Matthew 18:19-20 The Prayer of Agreement is POWERFUL!)

“WE” have read Matt 18:19-20 and agree concerning ____________________________________________________________

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We both agree that each of us plays a part in this agreement…this is our plan. (remember that BOTH husband and wife must agree with each others part.) (use the numbered scriptures above in the agreement. Please try to use AT LEAST 3 numbered scriptures that fit, but more is better) #1 is used for the husband and #2 is used for the wife

1.

What is the husbands part in the agreement?______________________________________________________________

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1. What numbered scriptures are you using? __________________________________________________________________

1. What specific results do you want to see?___________________________________________________________________

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2. What is the wife’s part in the agreement?______________________________________________________________

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2. What numbered scriptures are you using?__________________________________________________________________

2. What specific results do you want to see? __________________________________________________________________

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Ministering to your mate

 

Seeing that you both used the numbered scriptures above, you have no doubt stretched your faith beyond it’s limits (which is good for spiritual growth, but you may need to be ministered to)

Specifics to be done daily (doing this morning and night will see best results)

Husband: read The Bible to your wife every day! Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

So in what specific ways will you minister to your mate to help them through this process?

1. Husband (use numbered scriptures, create a small prayer journal to show your therapist how you prayed/ministered to your wife and what scriptures you stood on) how did  you minister to your wife and what was the result?

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2. Wife (use numbered scriptures, create a small prayer journal to show your therapist how you prayed/ministered to your husband and what scriptures you stood on) how did  you minister to your husband and what was the result?

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