Don’t ruin your marriage. It’s the Little Things that Count!
My wife and I have been mental health therapists for more than 25 years, so we really have seen almost everything.
We have friends who had healthy strong relationships and every intention of keeping their intimacy strong, only to see them fall apart.
And we have seen them rebuild their relationships even stronger than before.
Five simple things that can ruin your marriage
I have seen certain things that lead to the death of a marriage. Here are the top five
1) Opposite-sex friendships.
Seek someone to talk to: a trusted older friend at church, therapist etc. But this should seldom be someone of the opposite sex.
When you share hurts it creates a bond of sympathy, and that can lead to intimacy.
An emotional/intimate relationship with someone of the opposite sex is DANGEROUS!
We all know how this begins…a friend at work asks a question or seeks advice from you that isn’t work related.
They treat you to coffee or lunch and starts to pay you compliments which can eventually lead to meetings behind closed doors.
These meetings cause emotional intimacy and over time these relationships can become physically addictive making it difficult to stop.
It doesn’t take too long for this relationship to become something more.
2. Having a critical spirit.
A critical spirit comes when an individual isn’t sure about themselves.
They become quick to defend their point of view because they are hurting and fear rejection.
Their constant criticism reaffirms our shame because they know us better than anyone else.
Criticism will only cause your mate to distance themselves from you.
If you pat someone on the back that has a bad sunburn…they are going to react because of the pain that they are feeling.
Hypersensitivity is the sign of low self-esteem, the fear of rejection and fear of failure.
These are just a few of the reasons why hypersensitive people reach to criticism so quickly.
Fear is a spirit and death always follows close behind.
4. Unrestrained in-laws.
Unrestrained in-laws are the number one complaints of newly weds that we deal with.
Unrestrained in-laws usually drive young newlyweds from the city that they were born in.
I have met a few people who have had a solid family life growing up, but only a few!
Most people come from dysfunctional families of some sort.
Allowing in-laws to move unrestrained within a marriage will allow them to quickly turn their dysfunction on your mate.
You’ve got to listen when you mate tells your family has weird dynamics and QUICKLY set boundaries.
5. Ignoring issues.
Many couples think they can fix their marriage over time, but by the time they realize they can’t untangle the dysfunction, it’s usually too late.
Marriages die because people don’t seek help.
We can help you untangle the knots that are killing your marriage.
These are the five simple things that can ruin your marriage, but there are many ways to strengthen our marriage.
We will see changes if we intentionally work toward building friendships with your mate and seek to share their interests.
We must keep strong boundaries with opposite-sex individuals
Contacting us as soon as possible is an excellent beginning.