You can get intimacy back in your marriage

You can get intimacy back in your marriage

The one thing that is lacking in most every marriage that I work with is intimacy.  Intimacy is something that takes time and effort to produce, but it can be destroyed in an instant.  Most couples think that intimacy must always involve sex and that’s certainly is where intimacy will eventually lead.  Let’s take a look at different forms of intimacy, because you can get intimacy back in your marriage.

Intimacy and trust are synonymous, meaning that you cannot have one without the other.  When a young couple first begins their journey in their marriage they begin to build trust in one another.  We must understand that each partner brings with them a certain amount of baggage. This baggage can include fear of rejection, pains of the past, and the fear of the future.  So as the marriage continues to progress a greater level of trust should progress along with it. (1)

What happened to our intimacy?

This is the question that many couples that come to me for marriage counseling have. Where has our intimacy gone?  What has happened? Most of the time to be honest when a couple realize is that the intimacy is gone a certain amount of fear enters into their hearts.

I think that communication, the lack of communication and the inability to communicate with your mate giving them the type of communication that their temperament needs.  There are five different temperaments and thousands of different blends of temperaments, and each temperament has different needs for communication.  A melancholy prefers logic and facts, but they do not need the same kind of emotional intimacy that a sanguine would need.

Most therapists would be able to train you with techniques designed to bring intimacy back into your marriage.  But if you do not know how to communicate with your mate to begin with them real intimacy, deep intimacy can never happen.  This is where temperament comes in!  If you know what your mates temperament is then you will know how to communicate with them, and so the type of communication that you are giving them will bring intimacy back into your marriage. (2)

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