Have you ever heard someone make the statement…

I love you but I am not “in love with you”?

I love you

When one thinks about the day-to-day relationship with their mate sometimes the water can become cloudy so to speak.

Through the good times and the bad times it can become confusing when you ask yourself am I really “in love” with my mate.

Let’s look at the differences between loving your mate and being “in love” with your mate.

Genuine love is a decision made by an individual.

Obviously there are certain criteria that must be met when 2 people begin a relationship together.

Do you find the person attractive? Do you enjoy being with them? Can you communicate with them? Do they listen to you and do they validate you?

There are thousands of questions that can be answered when 2 people are growing together and headed toward marriage.

After all of the questions and criteria are answered in one’s mind and they determined that they would like to spend the rest of their life with an individual… It is a decision.

This is not a decision based on feelings but it is a decision based on facts.

This is when you can look a person in the eyes and say I love you.

but I am not “in love” with you

What about being “in love” with your mate?

Being in love with your mate is more of a feeling than a decision.

If things are going OK and a relationship then you are in love with your mate.

This type of love can go up or down depending on the emotions of an individual.

Before your life is over you will have difficulties in your marriage.

Some of these difficulties will be harder to deal with than others.

And without a doubt you may not “feel the love” during those times.

So the next time that you hear somebody say I love my mate but I am not in love with them anymore…

Congratulate them that they have finally reached genuine love that is not controlled by emotions alone.