Fix yourself before you start a relationship

fix yourself first

New Relationship? Fix Yourself First

If you have never been in a relationship before then this article is not for you. But if you have been in a relationship before and been hurt then “fix your soul first” is something that you understand.

Change your mate, change your conflict

One of our therapists Jennifer Salinas C. M. wrote a two-part article that deals with what we will be talking about today.

The name is “Change your mate, change your conflict“:

Every marriage has perpetual conflict. You know, those things you do battle with over and over in your relationship. They are interminable, and while they don’t have to be deal breakers in a marriage, one too many collisions can breed resentment, the effect of which can be irreversible for some.
Most of these types of issues stem from one or both person’s negative sense of self – those things in our mates that were broken in them before you ever met. In legal terms it becomes irreconcilable differences, and many times we choose to move on to a different mate.
We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge. Change your mate you simply change your conflict. Join us next week as we delve into learning to live in love even if your quarrels at home endure. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:15

When a person has been hurt deeply or “soul wounded” as we call it.

After they “catch their breath” so-to-speak, they begin seeking that love that they longed for but did not receive. They begin to date again hoping to find that special someone” that can take all the soul pain away.

Quite often what they find wounds the soul even more than it was before.

There are some things that must change before a person can successfully begin another relationship.

Let us look at the more important things that must be dealt with:

Fix your soul 1st The wounded soul

Being in a loving relationship can be a world changing experience that can be a dream come true in a marriage.

A hurtful relationship can change your world in a negative world that can wound your soul. This “soul pain” can be a life long pain if you allow it to.

We have all heard of the term “emotional baggage” and it fits most all of us in one form or another,

Carrying this “baggage” around with us will affect our ability to have happy fulfilling relationships.

Where do we go? what do we do when we feel so hurt that when we open our mouth only pain comes out?

We realize (as most of us have ) that we need to  seek help, and  realizing that you are wounded is the first step toward wholeness.

Learning to “fix your soul” begins with a long look at yourself

I got divorced many years ago at a very young age  and it was a rather painful one at that.

I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior a few years before I got married and really didn’t know what I was doing BUT one thing that I did know about was His saving blood and grace.

This is what helped me through the impossibly painful times that lead me to wholeness.

It did not happen over night but it eventually did because I took one vital “first step”.

Lord fix my soul but start with ME

This divorce was painful and I spent many months seeking healing from God which he lovingly provided.

I remember telling him that divorce was too painful for me to bear and I promised to never get married again until He showed me what I did wrong,

That’s right! I wanted to know what I did wrong….where were my mistakes and how I could fix them.

Even at that young age I knew that I needed to be fixed so I approached the situation from that direction…FIX ME FIRST!  In essence…Fix your soul first!

God lovingly showed me where I went wrong and I fixed them. I learned that some of my choices and decisions helped to destroy the relationship.

I did not have professional help but I had Jesus and he showed me everything that I needed and helped me to understand how to approach a relationship and keep it healthy and loving.

As I stated earlier…this did not happen over night but God slowly lead me to healing and love.

I eventually did find my forever mate…or should I say she found me!

I have known her for 40 years and we have been HAPPILY married. So as you can see…it can be done.

That impossible pain and anguish in your soul can be healed

Let us help you as we have done for thousands.

Contact us via phone or message today