I hear that quite a bit when I’m in session with the patient, they tell me “I just want someone to listen to me”
People don’t often say that in words although sometimes they do…
More often I see it in body language, facial expressions Or tone of their voice.
It doesn’t take much to hear a person out, or does it?
If the same person that are standing in front of you that is asking you to hear them refuses to hear you when you need someone to hear you at might be a little bit different.
If you have a relationship with a mate then listening to them might not be that easy.
She/He wants to be heard!
One of the main reasons that a person wants to be heard is because they want to be validated..
What that means is they want to know that they are important to the other person, that they are worth listening to.
Let’s face it, these Days it becomes more and more difficult to have confidence in oneself and so we turned to the people that are closest to us.
This task can seem and possible, but it really isn’t.
Understanding why a person is upset and why they are seeking validation is what it’s all about.
If you look out your back window and you see a dog in the backyard barking… He barks and he barks and he barks!
You try to tune him out but he simply will not stop barking.
His barking may anger you and you wish he would just be quiet!
But this is the only way he knows to communicate and he desperately wants to be heard.
If you ask someone who is an expert in handling dogs they will actually be able to listen to the bark and know what the dog wants!
What if you could do that with you are mate?
What if you could listen to their tone of voice look at their body language or look into their eyes and know what they are really seeking?
Why do we want to be heard?
When I listen to my wife talk to me, especially when she is upset I almost always know why.
I know why she is upset because I know what her temperament is.
Things that really bother her do not bother me at all.
When we were 1st married and we were kids we had difficulties like many new couples did.
She desperately wanted to be heard but I just didn’t see the value in it.
I would ask myself “now why in the world would that bother her?
And quite often she felt the same way about me, and for a while there we began to feel as if we weren’t being heard.
But once we studied and understood what temperament was all of that changed.
We began to understand the real reason why our mate was upset
I can’t say it’s always easy, but knowing why makes all the difference in the world.
By now you can imagine the understanding that you would gain simply by knowing what your mates temperament needs really are
This is an investment in your marriage and your future that will pay dividends until the day you move to heaven!