I know of one specific topic that I deal with the during the marriage counseling process
and that topic is “conditional love”.
What we call conditional love is really a “condition” or that we set when we commit to another.
We may walk into our relationship with the idea “if this doesn’t work I can bail out”
or “I will only stick with this relationship as long as it meets my needs”
If you are simply dating another person this attitude may even be safe…
but if you are considering marriage or have just got married conditional love can be deadly.
All too often people (especially Christians) walk into a marriage with a “plan B”.
They may think “if this relationship doesn’t work out to as tragic and as painful as it may be
I can always get divorced”.
I think we need to come to the realization that “love cannot be “conditional” in a marriage”
And if we really look at it with a clear mind we can see a conditional love is merely a protective
barrier between you and your mate.
This barrier keeps you from helping your mate when they are in pain, or afraid, or beat down by life or other people.
The very reason people get married is to share…and not just the good times…
they are to share the pain and defeat that pain as a team…AS ONE!
The “oneness” of two people that are married creates intimacy, the feeling of security, peace, joy and happiness.
Unconditional love in a marriage is what God’s love is all about. When my wife is in trouble and needs me…
I put a stop on everything else in my life. She gets my full attention and together we work the difficulty out.
I must say that working out difficulties with my wife as one creates a relationship that is indescribable.
As a team my wife and I have done things that most people would consider impossible…
but as we learned to work together we accomplish these things as God has shown us how.