The Agony of Loneliness part 1

LonelinessIn a marriage it will become apparent that at times you feel alone. Your mate may be sitting next to you or in the same bed and yet…you feel alone.

Researchers say that people who are lonely are 50 % more likely to die prematurely… chronic loneliness is as harmful as smoking half a pack of cigarettes a day.

As much as we know about loneliness and how detrimental it can be to your health, one would think that we would learn more about it…

that loneliness still ranks at the top of the ailments that people face.

At times you feel like there may be some hope then at other times you feel hopeless and it feels like a roller coaster ride… up and down.

Married couples and loneliness

If you are happy with the one you are married to then “there’s nothing in the world like being married

but if you are in an unhappy stressful marriage, then “there is nothing in the world like being married.”

Believe it or not…marriage is where I find the loneliest people I know.

This is because you are under the same roof as your mate, but if positive communication is not flowing smoothly then the “oneness” that 2 people share is severed.

Let us look at this subject from another perspective…each one of us is created by God a unique individual. Let us look at some scripture that talks about this.



Ps 139:14 “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Is 64:8 “But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

Because we are created exactly how God created us to be…this means that we each have our own ideas…

our own dreams and ways of communication.

So how does loneliness fit in all of this?

Learning how to speak

Since we are created unique…precisely as God wanted us to be, and that there are many of us on the planet Earth…it stands to reason that there are many people standing around that will hear you when you speak.

So, learning what words to say is important. We can speak healing words or words that hurt and destroy another person. There are 2 vital things to learn if you want to speak healing words wherever you go.

1.       What we speak is important.

2.       How we speak is vitally important as well.

AS I stated…people are listening to what you speak and how you speak, so learning how to possess a proper attitude when you chose your words are important too.

If you are married, then your mate is probably listening to what you are saying…do they need healing words? or uplifting words?  More than likely the answer is yes to both questions.

So just how do we learn to accomplish this?

Learning how to listen (what are you hearing?)

Quote   How we listen, is related to our thought patterns which largely controls our emotions   Dr W. H. Penewit

If we are to listen to our mates correctly, then we must prepare ourselves to hear them properly.

We begin by allowing The Word of God to heal us from our soul level. Here is an example…

·         A husband wants to help the mood of his sad/angry wife. He makes an attempt, but things only get worse. He wonders what went wrong but the answers elude him. Let us look at the Word of God for the answer.

·         Eph 5: 25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

·         Here is how The NASB puts it Eph 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,



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