When is it “too late to save your marriage”?
Every now and then when I am talking to an individual who is contemplating marriage counseling, I frequently hear, “I think it’s too late to save my marriage”
Many years ago when I first began my practice I began thinking about this very thing.
Just when is it too late to save a marriage?
People call us because everything else that they have tried has failed. When they see the word “Christian” I believe that it gives them a hope that they hadn’t thought about. They think to themselves, “maybe it’s not too late for my marriage” Maybe God will help us.
I have worked with couples whose marriage wasn’t that far gone…
It seemed no matter what I tried it’s simply didn’t work out.
I have worked with couples whose marriages were so far gone that I actually considered why I was even attempting to help them.
After months of hard work, tears, laughter and joy … these couples connected with God and their marriage was healed.
I have learned the secret to successful marriage counseling and the downfall have marriage counseling.
Let us look at a few points that I have discovered for successful and unsuccessful marriage counseling.
1. You must stay the course for your therapy to succeed.
Your course of therapy is being mapped out by your therapist by studying prayer. Your therapist takes your healing very seriously and they need to see you with the same attitude.
Committing to the suggested number of sessions will be the difference between healing or failure
2. I guarantee you that there will be times that you must fight for your healing, you must fight for your marriage. Rebuilding something that is broken will not be easy at times, but the effort and the tears will be well worth it!
3. Learning your temperament must be first place in your therapy. This will explain why you are having difficulty that you are having.
Temperament will answer the “why” questions that both of you have
4. Temperament needs will be explained to you, and are the keys to achieving what you are seeking. You will learn what temperament needs are and how it can help you.
You must make this a primary importance in your daily life. Asking yourself the question, “Am I meeting my temperament needs today?” will be vital to your success.
5. Your therapist will place “life changing” tools into your hands, so “practicing” by using them ASAP is a requirement. The tools for success will be placed in your hands by your therapist and they will instruct you in their usage. Beginning to use these tools (such as learning your temperament and your mate’s temperament) and learning to meet each other’s temperament needs are required during your sessions with your therapist.
Following these guidelines and the instructions given to you by your therapist will help you achieve your goal of a healed marriage.
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