So in one moment of desperation, I laid out on the cold tile floor and cried out to God. “TODAY, NOW, I need to FEEL your love! Save me from myself!
Have you ever been at a place in your life where you no longer feel alive? You are going through the motions of someone who appears to be alive. You get up, get dressed, go to school, come home, all the while feeling as if it would not even matter if you got up that day. I know I have.
There was a time in my life when the enemy had me so fooled into believing I didn’t matter. So much so that I would cause pain to my body, just to feel something. If I saw blood drip from my skin, then I knew I was still here. If I didn’t eat for a few days and my stomach rumbled and screamed at me, then I knew I was still here. But why? Nobody cared! Hey! they all had a real life, they all had someone to love, someone to love them back. Someone who actually cared what they had to say, but, when would I matter?
Thank God, for His love. He cared about me so much he didn’t leave me there in my own self destruction. I had asked Him to come into my life as a small child, but what did that mean to me? The only thing that it left me with was a hope of death. Salvation to me only really meant I now don’t have to spend eternity in Hell. Great! Now I get to go to Heaven. That only happens when I die. What about now?
It wasn’t until I had finally had enough of the numbness of life that I cried out to Him! I cried out for Him to PROVE IT! Prove His love for me! Prove that I matter! Prove that I am accepted. Prove that I am here for a purpose. I am tired of hearing about this wonderful love that He had for me and never experiencing it. I couldn’t get past what I saw in the mirror ( the worthless piece of trash) to see what He saw ( a beautiful one of a kind precious pearl).
So in one moment of desperation, I laid out on the cold tile floor and cried out to God. “TODAY, NOW, I need to FEEL your love! Save me from myself! Show me this so-called “salvation!” In other words, PROVE IT! And you know what He did – He showed up. His presence entered the room in such a wave of warmth and comfort. It was similar to a warm blanket being laid on a cold body, and there was such peace in His presence. Wow! How great is the love of the Father.
He didn’t just leave me there with a feeling that would pass or fade. He gave me His Word. He showed me in His Word just how valuable I was to Him. He showed me that He cared. He cared what I had to say. He cared so much that He anxiously waits for me to come visit with Him. …..”Long before He laid down earth’s foundations, he had ME in mind, had settled on ME as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Ephesians 1: 3-6 msg. That is exactly what I needed . . . Wholeness.
The Bible says that God is not a respecter of persons. What He has done for me, He will do for you. He longs to be the shoulder you cry on. He longs to be the hero in the story of your life. He wants to be your Savior, the One who saves you from despair, and the One who saves you from hopelessness. So invite Him in today. Call on Him, He will answer! Ask Him to prove it. Know that as aggressively as you seek after Him, He will passionately seek after you.
Author; Chastity Burleson – Chastity is an anointed author and minister reaching out to young women with hope and healing.